Look at the image below and think about this question: do you feel this way for a prolonged period after enduring a season of trauma? The death of a loved one, enduring a form of abuse, witnessing or being in an accident – all of these interfere with your cognitive abilities. The classic three responses to trauma listed below are a common product of trauma. You are not losing your mind. As you heal, you will think differently.
COGNITIVE TRIAD OF TRAUMA
Cognitive distortions are notions we form about ourselves and the world around us because of the trauma we have experienced. A woman who loses her husband suddenly is fully convinced she is next. A person who survives abuse sees her abuser in many other people she encounters and perceives them as abusive.
- Excessive or inappropriate guilt over what happened to yourself or somebody else in the traumatic event. You become obsessed with thoughts of how you could have avoided them or seen the warning signs.
- Idealization – you picture a perfect alternate scenario where you could change the events leading up to the traumatic event and produce a different outcome that is more pleasant.
- Trauma-induced hallucinations or delusions will invade your sleeping and resting hours. They will keep you reliving the traumatic moments.
- Intrusive thoughts and memories – every aspect of your life is touched by the traumatic event in your life. As a result, memories of the trauma and responses to that trauma interject themselves into your mind in everything you do.
SURVIVAL TOOL
The above traumatic responses while very real to you (because they were real in the traumatic situation you lived in) are not necessarily real in your current situation. However, you are also trying to make sense of exactly what it was that you lived with or what happened in that traumatic moment. Get professional help to process the reality of the trauma you endured, but also remind yourself of what you have survived and/or that there were circumstances beyond your control that lead to the traumatic event. Even if you could have done things differently to produce a different outcome, remember this – hindsight is 20-20. But you do not have the advantage of hindsight until after the event has transpired.
Show yourself a lot of grace.
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